Saturday, February 5, 2011
Yet Again
FUCK!! I just don't understand these fucking doctors! They tell my mom that they won't do surgery because shes not bad enough yet. However they will fill her full of drugs and not see her for a month later. And last night technically to day at around two in the morning she fell again. And then about thirty minuets ago she fell again. HOLY SHIT! I'm so scared and i don't know what to do. My dad won't talk about it he will just yell at me, and I can't talk to my mom. She's just as scared and won't say anything. I just don't know what to do. Everyone keeps saying that I can't put my life on hold for it but how do I leave when I have been taught to always take care of my family? I feel completly helpless and I hate it. If she falls again we're calling a ambulence. My mo was a nurse and she told me that she thinks she's having small strokes. And what if she is? That can't be from bulding dics in her back, right? I just feel so lost.
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I believe that is true, you can't put your life on hold for anything... But when it's something as important as your mom you're going to, whether you're supposed to or not. From what I've seen through out my life, your thoughts tend to scare you a lot more then reality ever does. Hope for the best, your encouragement is the best medicine a parent can recieve. Remember that everybody in this class, along with all your friends i'm sure are here to listen to you, even if your family won't. Things are probably very hard for your dad too, and maybe he really just doesn't know. That may be why it's so hard for him to talk about it. I really hope everything goes well for you, and your family. I'll make sure to keep you guys in my prayers.
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